A little late on parade for one liner Wednesday today, but now I’m here I may as well provide you with your weekly dose of redefinition with the alternative dictionary. This one is well, self-explanatory, if misspelled;

“Addicted” – (Cruz or Bundy, for example)

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More midweek linguistic mischief for you today, in the shape of one liner Wednesday’s regular entry in the alternative dictionary;

“Canonize” – A photographer’s squint.

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For today’s exercise in phonetic pedantry, our entry in the alternative dictionary stops just short of obscenity;

“Focussing” – The kind of restrained not-really-swearing employed in polite company (drat, dagnabbit, darn, fiddlesticks, etc)

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Today’s alternative definition is etymological and entomological in equal measure;

“Covenants” – A society of insectile witches.

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This week’s fatuously phonetical entry in the alternative dictionary deals with our fun-loving feathered friends;

“Political” – The best way to make a parrot laugh.

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Although today’s alternative definition sounds like it could refer to this unlikely fashion trend, I have chosen to go for the one I thought of first;

“Bumbling” – Jewellery for tramps.

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Today’s alternative definition is my favourite kind. In other words, it’s a really terrible, incredibly contrived pun, which has no bearing whatsoever on the word being defined;

“Photosynthesis” – The manufacture of prosthetic podiatric digits.

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A bit late, but the right day for one liner Wednesday, which is something. Today’s alternative definition is a simple one;

“Maritime” – Wedding day.

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Today’s alternative definition is another misspelled culinary term;

“Borax” – A specialist butchery utensil.

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