I’m afraid this week’s alternative definition might go over (or at least around) the heads of all but a few of you*, but you may surprise me, we’ll see;

“Duncan” – Krautrock retirement home.

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*hello, Ho

Today’s alternative definition is fairly straightforward and not terribly funny, but it was too obvious not to use;

“Mendacity” – Urban redevelopment.

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Today’s journey into the world of alternative definitions has a bit of a regal tone;

“Principals” – Friends in the Royal Family.

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I almost forgot it was Wednesday again, hence the last minute entry in the alternative dictionary this week. Today it’s a very specific fashion faux pas that gets its own definition;

“Cacti” – Unattractive neckwear.

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The first one liner Wednesday of the year and nothing has changed, it’s still the place to find your weekly entries in the alternative dictionary. Today it’s another unfortunate medical complaint;

“Poppycock” – Impotence suffered by opiate addicts.

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Today’s post-Yule alternative definition came to me as I gazed blankly at one of Audrey’s DVDs after a few ciders yesterday and it hadn’t gone away by the time I remembered it was now Wednesday, so;

“Divergent” – A male scuba enthusiast.

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It’s late, but it’s here. Today’s alternative definition is a nasty medical complaint;

“Fantasist” – A lump under the skin, the result of drinking too much orange soda.

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It’s time for another entry in the alternative dictionary and we’re getting intellectual;

“Conscience” – To perpetrate a hoax on the theoretical intelligentsia.

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After last week’s controversial entry, today’s alternative definition returns to safer ground;

“Mattresses” – Dreadlocks.

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