This week the alternative dictionary redefines a blatantly obvious word:

“Flagrant” – Angry, often nationalistic diatribe, prompted by alleged loyalty to a patterned sheet on a stick.

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For this week’s badly spelled entry in the alternative dictionary, we get a little theological and a little poetic;

“Acrostic” – A nervous twitch brought on by religion.

See, I came up with a poem today Created so I could write it this way
I think it’s quite fine
Even these two lines rhyme
Never mind what real poets say.
Can’t think of a seven line verse
Eh, maybe that would’ve been worse.

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This week’s misspelled alternative definition is another one of those Brit-centric words which may not be familiar across the pond (or elsewhere, for that matter) so I have included a further translation to clarify;

“Fainites”* – Camp crusaders.

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*English playground version of crying “uncle”

Today’s alternative definition is partly current affairs, partly fantasy and mostly nonsense;

“Impeach” – Equal distribution of personal pixies.

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A bit of an obvious one for today’s alternative definition, but it popped into my head, so I need to get it out;

“Cupboard” – Tea tray.

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Today’s alternative definition is another exercise in creative pronunciation;

“Phobia” – The opposite of “real ale”. (root, ginger, etc)

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For the final alternative dictionary entry of 2020, we’re going a bit down market;

“Extinguished” – Someone who used to have class.

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*****

Today’s alternative definition falls into the “it made me laugh so it’s going in” category and has no relevance to anything at all;

“Dysentery” – Being uncomplimentary about Terrance.

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Every now and then an alternative definition pops into my head when I read a word, then refuses to leave, no matter how corny and terrible it is. This leaves no room for additional thoughts to percolate, until I have excised it by inflicting it on you, my long-suffering readers.

This is an example of one such mindworm, so I apologise in advance for its awfulness:

“Operating” – Jamaican term for a highbrow musical form (e.g. Aida, Don Giovanni, etc)

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