Sticking my neck out.

I’ve had some bloody stupid injuries in my time, but the latest one is possibly the most inane and painful of all.

I had a pretty good weekend; I went to the fair with Audrey on Friday after stopping in at the pub for a quick pint; Rhonda managed to get Saturday evening off for a change so we went to the carnival for a wander round (until it rained); there was a Grand Prix on Sunday (Vettel crashed, Ha!), the sun came out and I spent the afternoon in the garden doing some writing.

All in all, a very pleasant few days.

Then I woke up yesterday and my neck felt like someone had hit the left side of it with a cricket bat while I was asleep.

Great, must have slept funny, (no, not “ha ha”) so I took a couple of ibuprofen and went to work.

By lunchtime I couldn’t turn my head to the left, or tilt it down, or reach out my left arm, or bend forward at all, without a MASSIVE bolt of pain shooting up into the base of my skull, like someone had attached jump leads to my neck.

After couple of hours of the pain getting progressively worse, I gave in. I called the doctor and got an appointment at the rapid access clinic half an hour later, leaving work while I could still move well enough to drive…

“So, what did you do to yourself this time.”

(Oh lucky me, it’s the same nurse who patched me up after the various chunks I’ve taken out of myself on previous occasions)

“I don’t know, honestly.”

*Examines badly inflamed and rock hard neck muscles*


“Hmm, did you do anything over the weekend that might have injured it?”

“No! I honestly just sat in the garden yesterday, I didn’t do anything all weekend, I went to the fair with my daughter on Friday….”

“Go on any rides?”

“Yeah, the Bumper Cars…Ah.”

“Yep, you’ve got whiplash.”

“Oh for f…”

“I’ll give you some muscle relaxants, they’re valium.”

“Really? Oh, go on then. No work?”

“Oh no, they’ll make you very sleepy, you won’t be able to drive or work for a couple of days.”

“That’s a shame.”

“I bet. Now, you can only take three a day and stop taking them when you’re better, because they’re very addictive, ok?”

“Ok, got it.”

“But I’ll give you twenty eight, anyway, because you can always hang onto them, in case you need them in future.”

(Wait, what?)

“Um, ok. How long do they last?”

“About four hours.”

“Hahaha, no, how long do they keep for?”

“Ah, right, they’ll have an expiry date on them.”

And now I’m sat at home with neck muscles that feel like strips of teak, despite the fact I felt perfectly fine all weekend.

Having never had whiplash before, I’d never fully appreciated a) how painful it is, or b) the strange delayed action involved in its onset. I went on the dodgems (with Audrey driving, I might add) at about four o’clock on Friday afternoon and had no inkling there was anything wrong until first thing Monday morning

So, there you have it.


On the bloody dodgems.
They’re going to love that at work.

It was a fun day out, though, and for those of you who enjoy watching unforseen injuries in action, here’s the video I shot whilst my neck was being primed to torture me three days later.

My favourite part is near the start, when Audrey notices the camera for the first time and her expression changes from fearsome concentration to a happy grin in one quick double-take.

Buckle up, it’s a bumpy ride!


The End and beyond.

I’m sorry if you were expecting to find my (almost) regular SoCS post here, but I’m afraid today has been too full of geeky anticipation and online nerdiness for me to concentrate on anything other than…


Ok, I know, I know, the vast majority of you won’t have the faintest clue of why that is so significant, but (as I’m sure you’re aware by now) I am a massive fan of David Lynch’s surreal tv universe; you know, the one where he redefined what tv shows could be?

Well, quite frankly, over the last three months, he’s done it again.

But I’m not here to wax lyrical about how utterly and completely Lynch has rewritten the rule book, or just how astounding The Return has been. No I’m here to wax lyrical (again) about the millions of other people like me; the fans.

You can read about The Woolhouse Boys here, if you haven’t already heard about us, but I’m not just talking about that merry band of brothers, I’m talking about the truly extraordinary online community of groups, pages and individuals, who have made this second bite of the Twin Peaks cherry so much more than just being a fan of a tv show.

I have met a huge number of creative, talented, funny and genuinely warm people over the last six months of communal geeking, both leading up to and during (probably) the final season of “our show”, as it is often affectionately referred to, many of whom I’m sure I will remain friends with for years to come.

Because as it turns out, it isn’t just a love of Twin Peaks we have in common, it’s an attitude, a worldview, a philosophy if you like, which seems to be shared by those of us who gravitate to Lynch’s universe. Rarely (not since discovering the blogging community, in fact) have I been part of an extended group of people, with such a diverse demographic, which has been so inclusive, friendly and welcoming of new ideas.

Whether it’s the brash, snarky, too-clever-by-half memeing of the Logposters™, the deep analysis and thought experiments of the discussion groups, or, yes, the joyous parody of the Woolhouse Boys, my Facebook newsfeed has been solid Twin Peaks posts since May 21st, when the greatest tv show ever made made its triumphant return to our screens after over a quarter of a century.

And then there are the stars of the show, who joined in with our jolly japes and daft sweater montages; John Pirruccello (Chad Broxford) in particular, who we were honoured to welcome into our group, has been a total star and a great sport and it’s obvious to see his love for the fans and for the show itself; Billy Zane, who exchanged jokes with us on Twitter and still owes us a photo of him with his dad in the sweater; James Grixoni, (Deputy Jesse) who, along with John, met up with some of the Woolhouse Boys in person at the recent Twin Peaks fest, but especially to the lovely Sabrina Sutherland, executive producer of the show, Lynch and Frost’s right hand woman and fierce hunter-down of spoiler leakers.

In fact Sabrina made my day only yesterday, by showing her support and appreciation for our other group, The Cult of Chad…

And now there are only two episodes left and I will be getting up at 5am tomorrow morning to watch them before work, so I can find all my fellow geeks online and say; “Oh wow, wasn’t that…”

So I’d just like to say a sincere and heartfelt thank you to all of the new friends I’ve made and to everyone who helped make the entire experience a real event, in an age when television has become disposable and social media is sometimes a cold and bleak place to hang out.

Thank you, in no particular order, to;

Joel, Kneel, Wyatt, Nev, Chris, Mark, Dan, Tara, Emily, Christian, Jill, Noah, John, Sabrina, Rachel, Neil, Laura, Thomas, William and all the other wonderful folks who get it.

I’ll see you all in the trees.

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