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March of the Internet Nobody, day seven: Poetry corner…

Today on my literary odyssey, I’m tackling a type of poem that was made popular by author, artist and champion of all things nonsensical, Edward Lear, back in the 1800’s.

The pure form is said to be inherently obscene, or at least risqué, but the structure is generally described as follows;

Limerick“A humorous poem consisting of five lines. The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm. The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables, and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm.”

This is, I have to admit, more my level. A great many fine examples spring to mind, but I’m committed to original material so here’s my newest composition:

This month I’ll be posting each day
Because I always have something to say
So by hook or by crook

I will sell you my book*
I am determined to make blogging pay.

*****

Tomorrow I shall return to vandalize another classic poetic meter; be afraid, be very afraid.

*Just in case you missed the subtle hint, THIS IS THE AMAZON LINK FOR THE WRONG STUFF or, if you’re in the UK, IT’S THIS ONE.

 

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One liner Wednesday: Alternative dictionary…

I’m never sure if these alternative definitions will work on both sides of the Atlantic, but this one certainly has more of an American slant (assuming, that is, that it isn’t just me);

“Validate” – “Ohmygod! I like, went out with this guy last night and he was, like, just so grody. To the max. Like, totally!

#1linerWeds

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11 Comments

Posted by on March 1, 2017 in Blogging, Humour, One liner Wednesday

 

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One liner Wednesday: Alternative dictionary…

I’m aware that not all these alternative definitions appeal to everyone and this one might be more amusing to slightly older readers;

“Topology” – The study of fiddlers on roofs.

#1linerWeds
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Posted by on February 22, 2017 in Blogging, Humour, One liner Wednesday

 

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The rise of The Woolhouse Boys…

If you’ve been reading my ramblings for any length of time, you’ll already be aware that I’m a huge fan of Twin Peaks and you won’t be at all surprised to hear that I’m looking forward to the belated arrival of season three with great anticipation.

But although I was completely obsessed with the show when it first aired, I’m not the sort of po-faced, chin stroking überfan who has an instant sense of humour failure, when someone pokes fun at the extraordinary blend of art house soap opera, surreal comedy and paranormal film noir that was David Lynch’s television masterpiece.

In fact, I’m perfectly happy to join in.

So when I discovered a Facebook group called The Woolhouse Boys, I realised that I was amongst likeminded folks with a similar sense of the absurd.

Billy Zane (above, centre; flanked by Twin Peaks’ finest, Michael Ontkean and Kyle Maclachlan, as Sheriff Harry S Truman and FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper) played a largely unnecessary character called John Justice Wheeler, who apparently arrived solely to sweep pouting, virginal sex kitten Audrey Horne off her feet whilst he lounged around in garish knitwear.

Well The Woolhouse Boys have given a new lease of life to Mr Zane’s foppish creation, skillfully Photoshopping him into a range of amusingly bizarre new scenes from the original series and beyond.

But that isn’t all, oh no; for the fascination with Mr John Justice Wheeler is primarily with his choice of woollen garment and it is the skill with which they have edited his trademark striped sweater onto various other characters that makes their photo collages and memes so hilarious. At least they are to a veteran of many a Twin Peaks marathon such as myself and I think that even non-Peakies will appreciate the attention to detail in their creations.

So I’d like to present a selection from the rapidly expanding portfolio, some of which were manipulated by yours truly; ladies and gentlemen, The Woolhouse Boys.

{Tony Stanic, Joel Peacock, Mark Zandi, Dan Jones, Christian Hartleben}

{Original source material: David Lynch/Showtime }
#WoolhouseBoys

Why not follow the Woolhouse Boys Tumblr page to keep up with our latest creations.

 

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Stream of consciousness Sunday: Intermission (My new favourite game)…

I’ve left it far too late to continue with The Accumulator today, so after catching up with ourselves by coming back to the present in last week’s episode, we’ll have a break until next weekend and I’ll use Linda G Hill‘s prompt for a quick SoCS contractual obligation post instead;

” “ham.” Use it any way you’d like. “

No problem…

Rhonda made me us snack for lunch today; a puff pastry tart with asparagus, sweet peppers, bacon, Parma ham, mushrooms and mozzarella cheese, it was absolutely gorgeous.

Right, that’s that taken care of, now on to the important stuff.

My New Favourite Game.

As you may well be aware, the long-awaited third season of David Lynch‘s groundbreaking soap noir, Twin Peaks is soon to be upon us and I’m as excited by the prospect now as I was when the original series aired, over twenty five years ago.

This anticipation has even prompted me to join a fan-curated Twin Peaks Facebook group, where discussion of new season plotlines, old theories and their future implications, TP related trivia and all things Lynchian, is ramping up to fever pitch prior to the May 21st worldwide release of the season premier.

While scrolling through the sea of “Who is the cutest girl/evilest villain/strangest character” memes, hugely complicated and contrived explanations of the many enigmatic or downright weird scenes from the first two seasons and photos of superfans with Twin Peaks tattoos, I started to notice a lot of stripey jumpers.

That’s sweaters to you, America.

Then I realised it was more specific than that, these were all photos of the very same sweater; one that had been worn by season two cameo-in-search-of-a-plot and Audrey Horne’s love interest, Billy Zane, as the sartorially challenged millionaire eco-warrior, John Justice Wheeler.

I noticed a lot of puzzled and sometimes rather snippy comments from hardcore “Peakies” on these photos, and not because they featured a largely-ignored and/or derided character either, but because they were all cleverly doctored for comic effect.

You see, some evil genius had been using Photoshop to insert John Justice Wheeler and his garish knitwear into classic scenes from the series, or better still, dressing another character in his sweater, sometimes even multiple characters. 

They were all brilliant. And hilarious. Unless you were a member of the Peakognoscenti of course, then it was sacrilege.

Anyway, never one to miss a chance to muck about with photos on my phone, I posted a sweaterised picture in the comment thread on one of the posts and, long story, short (for a change); I received an invitation to join the mysterious #woolhouseboys and have subsequently spent an inordinate amount of time this weekend, using PicSayPro to manipulate photos of a brightly coloured woolly jumper (with and without Billy Zane inside it) into humorous situations, primarily for my own amusement.

In the next couple of days I will be devoting an entire post to the sterling work done by the creators of this excellent group, (soon to also have dedicated Twitter and Tumblr accounts) which will feature some of my own humble contributions, but for now I’ll leave you with a gif I made from one of the most iconic scenes in the original series; Glastonbury Woolenbury Grove.

Stay tuned, all will become clear, honest…

**********

#SoCS

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One liner Wednesday: Alternative dictionary…

I’m aware that some of these alternative definitions don’t always translate well outside the UK, but this will be stuck in my head if I don’t write it down, so;

“Tweed” – A strain of cannabis, found specifically in Yorkshire.

#1linerWeds

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12 Comments

Posted by on February 15, 2017 in Blogging, Humour, One liner Wednesday

 

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One liner Wednesday: Alternative dictionary…

I know this year’s outdoor dining season is still some way off, but here’s an alternative definition for all those of you who experience unwelcome visitors at picnics;

“Antagonize” – To constantly worry about insects.

#1linerWeds
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11 Comments

Posted by on February 8, 2017 in Blogging, Humour, One liner Wednesday

 

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