This week’s fatuously phonetical entry in the alternative dictionary deals with our fun-loving feathered friends;

“Political” – The best way to make a parrot laugh.

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Although today’s alternative definition sounds like it could refer to this unlikely fashion trend, I have chosen to go for the one I thought of first;

“Bumbling” – Jewellery for tramps.

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Today’s alternative definition is my favourite kind. In other words, it’s a really terrible, incredibly contrived pun, which has no bearing whatsoever on the word being defined;

“Photosynthesis” – The manufacture of prosthetic podiatric digits.

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A bit late, but the right day for one liner Wednesday, which is something. Today’s alternative definition is a simple one;

“Maritime” – Wedding day.

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Today’s alternative definition is another misspelled culinary term;

“Borax” – A specialist butchery utensil.

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Here’s your historical redefinition for the week, another one liner entry in the alternative dictionary;

“Farsi” – An ancient Persian telescope.

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Another hump day, another tenuous entry in the alternative dictionary, with this week’s offering being a culinary treat;

“Posthumous” – Mail order chickpea dip.

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Today’s one liner redefinition is more of a gag than a real entry in the alternative dictionary, but it kind of qualifies;

“Wasted” – Edwina, before the operation.

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Today’s redefining moment of dictionary delinquency isn’t as obtuse as last week’s, as we return once more to the world of terrible puns;

“Artichoke” – The painters’ version of writer’s block.

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