It’s time for another entry in the alternative dictionary and we’re getting intellectual;

“Conscience” – To perpetrate a hoax on the theoretical intelligentsia.

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After last week’s controversial entry, today’s alternative definition returns to safer ground;

“Mattresses” – Dreadlocks.

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Today’s entry in the alternative dictionary was a late arrival in my head this evening when I got in from work and, well, it’s one of those that makes perfect sense to me, but…

“Caprice” – Something which falls out of an item of headgear, years after it was worn at a wedding.

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A quick entry in the alternative dictionary to amuse myself, on this first hump day of my new job;

“Shellfish” – Refusing to share a speech impediment.

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Today’s alternative definition is a bit of a specialised one, but we’re on internet so I’m sure y’all can work it out;

“Tardigrade” – Handing in a late assignment.

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Today’s entry in the alternative dictionary is a bit of a strange one, but it came from the same netherworld of my subconscious as they usually do, so you’ll have to decide for yourself if it works;

“Causality” – A casualty, just waiting to happen.

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Today’s alternative definition came to me a few days ago and I’ve been chuckling to myself about it ever since, so I hope you like it;

“Bratwurst” – The most unpleasant individual in any group of loud and annoying children.

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For today’s entry in the alternative dictionary, we go for something simple and sporty;

“Parking” – Golf expert.

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It’s ok, I know, I’m late, but it’s still Wednesday, albeit a rather busy one, so here’s your alternative definition for the week;

“Tantric” – The secret to not going orange.

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