Today’s alternative definition is something you may have experienced over the festive season;

“Carbuncle” – That relative who always hogs all the pasta/bread/potatoes at a family dinner.

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Hello there, welcome to the first entry in the alternative dictionary for 2020, following its two week festive break;

“Electrician” – A suitable pet name for a robot.

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For today’s alternative definition, you have a choice, depending on the sense of humour and imagination;

“Palisades” – Royal servants.

OR:

Insert your own DIY Prince Andrew joke *here*

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Today’s one liner redefines a traditional musical pastime that is popular at this time of year;

“Funding” – Campanology.

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Today’s alternative dictionary entry is an extremely specialised technical term that will probably only make sense to I.T. nerds, but I had to get it out of my system so here it is;

“Awkward” – A place for broken computer languages to recover.

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Today’s one liner is a quick redefinition of a musical genre;

“Vibrant” – Rap.

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Today’s alternative definition is brought to you by my inability to think of anything else after this one lodged itself in my head. So, for better or worse, here’s an unlikely and badly spelled form of devotional music;

“Alaska” – A type of Muslim reggae.

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We get a little pious for today’s entry in the alternative dictionary, redefining a piece of Catholic paraphernalia;

“Holistic” – A crosier or bishop’s staff.

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Time for your hump day dose of definitive dyslexia, with a boozy entry in the alternative dictionary;

“Intelligent” – That one bloke in the pub who always wants the TV on.

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Every now and again, a name strikes me as requiring a new, badly spelled definition. Today’s entry in the alternative dictionary is one of those occasions, and a literary one at that;

“Pasternak” – Dr Zhivago’s ability to eat spaghetti.

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