Welcome to hump day and another entry in the alternative dictionary, with a farming term supplying today’s unusually pun-ctual definition;

“Mooring” – The metal loop in a bull’s nose.

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A slightly late, misspelled alternative definition for you today, this one concerning eco-friendly fashion;

“Chamfer” – Fake animal skin.

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Today’s alternative definition has a psychological angle, although possibly not an accurate one;

“Artisanal” – The Freudian analysis of aesthetic creativity.

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Time for your weekly pun-ishment, with today’s alternative definition;

“Granola” – The correct way to greet an elderly female relative in Spanish.

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For today’s alternative definition we return to the world of misspelled maritime terminology;

“Cantankerous” – A (usually shouted) warning that a ship is unable to moor at sea due to deep water, extreme weather, etc.

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Today’s alternative definition is brought to you from a day off work and by the inspiration of a pint of cider in the sporadic sunshine;

“Thatcher” – Her that was married to Sonny Bono.

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Cheers!

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We go back in time for today’s alternative definition, for some tragic maritime sporting history;

“Battenberg” – The last, desperate game invented by the Titanic’s cricket team.

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Today’s alternative definition concerns a specialist menu;

“Organism” – A diet only consisting of offal.

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A vaguely topical entry in the alternative dictionary this week, concerning the farcical events in British politics;

“Matrix” – Whatever she tries to convince the EU she’s got it all under control.

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Two days off in the middle of the week and I still remembered it’s Wednesday, now that’s impressive. Anyway, here’s your weekly extract from the alternative dictionary;

“Romantic” – Nero’s nervous twitch.

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