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Stream of consciousness Sunday: Intermission (My new favourite game)…

I’ve left it far too late to continue with The Accumulator today, so after catching up with ourselves by coming back to the present in last week’s episode, we’ll have a break until next weekend and I’ll use Linda G Hill‘s prompt for a quick SoCS contractual obligation post instead;

” “ham.” Use it any way you’d like. “

No problem…

Rhonda made me us snack for lunch today; a puff pastry tart with asparagus, sweet peppers, bacon, Parma ham, mushrooms and mozzarella cheese, it was absolutely gorgeous.

Right, that’s that taken care of, now on to the important stuff.

My New Favourite Game.

As you may well be aware, the long-awaited third season of David Lynch‘s groundbreaking soap noir, Twin Peaks is soon to be upon us and I’m as excited by the prospect now as I was when the original series aired, over twenty five years ago.

This anticipation has even prompted me to join a fan-curated Twin Peaks Facebook group, where discussion of new season plotlines, old theories and their future implications, TP related trivia and all things Lynchian, is ramping up to fever pitch prior to the May 21st worldwide release of the season premier.

While scrolling through the sea of “Who is the cutest girl/evilest villain/strangest character” memes, hugely complicated and contrived explanations of the many enigmatic or downright weird scenes from the first two seasons and photos of superfans with Twin Peaks tattoos, I started to notice a lot of stripey jumpers.

That’s sweaters to you, America.

Then I realised it was more specific than that, these were all photos of the very same sweater; one that had been worn by season two cameo-in-search-of-a-plot and Audrey Horne’s love interest, Billy Zane, as the sartorially challenged millionaire eco-warrior, John Justice Wheeler.

I noticed a lot of puzzled and sometimes rather snippy comments from hardcore “Peakies” on these photos, and not because they featured a largely-ignored and/or derided character either, but because they were all cleverly doctored for comic effect.

You see, some evil genius had been using Photoshop to insert John Justice Wheeler and his garish knitwear into classic scenes from the series, or better still, dressing another character in his sweater, sometimes even multiple characters. 

They were all brilliant. And hilarious. Unless you were a member of the Peakognoscenti of course, then it was sacrilege.

Anyway, never one to miss a chance to muck about with photos on my phone, I posted a sweaterised picture in the comment thread on one of the posts and, long story, short (for a change); I received an invitation to join the mysterious #woolhouseboys and have subsequently spent an inordinate amount of time this weekend, using PicSayPro to manipulate photos of a brightly coloured woolly jumper (with and without Billy Zane inside it) into humorous situations, primarily for my own amusement.

In the next couple of days I will be devoting an entire post to the sterling work done by the creators of this excellent group, (soon to also have dedicated Twitter and Tumblr accounts) which will feature some of my own humble contributions, but for now I’ll leave you with a gif I made from one of the most iconic scenes in the original series; Glastonbury Woolenbury Grove.

Stay tuned, all will become clear, honest…

**********

#SoCS

Pingback to Linda G Hill.

 

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Interview: Deano’s Grill…

Today I’m pleased to share with you an interview I did for James D Mortain a few weeks ago. 
The format of the interview itself was very novel, (no pun intended) given that it was carried out by a fictional detective called Andrew ‘Deano’ Deans and he gave me a gentle but thorough grilling about The Wrong Stuff and writing in general.

Please hop over via the link below, check out our chat and have a look round at his site.

***GUY THAIR AT DEANO’S GRILL : WRITING THE WRONG STUFF***

***BUY YOUR COPY OF THE WRONG STUFF HERE***

 

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Q+A…

I was recognised in the Post Office yesterday. 

And I don’t just mean that someone who knows me, saw me and succeeded in matching my likeness to the library of faces in their memory; no, I was recognised.

I was in there to mail a copy of my debut novel, The Wrong Stuff, to a friend I met at the Weird Weekend, way back in 2012, before the world went mad. 

He had made me the generous offer of buying my book and, as a bonus, having it delivered to my address, along with another book of my choice, so that I could sign mine and mail it back to him. So when it arrived (with a JK Rowling reissue of a Harry Potter spinoff of some kind, for Audrey) I inscribed it with a suitably personalised message and took it to the local Post Office. 

The woman behind the counter took one look at me with my book-shaped padded envelope and said; 

“Is that a copy of your book you’re posting there, then? It was you I saw in the Gazette, wasn’t it?”

Which goes to show that people do read local papers, or at least read the headlines and look at the pictures…

Elsewhere, ATLA Publishing described me as “our star author, Guy Thair” on their Twitter feed and Chrissie Parker at Fossend Publishing did a very nice interview with me for their blog;

***WHICH YOU CAN FIND HERE***

I would be very pleased and terribly honoured if you would click the links below and get your very own copy (if you pay the postage, I might even sign it for you) and maybe one for a friend.

Thank you.

********

For those of you who don’t already know, here comes the blurb:

The Wrong Stuff, a totally improvised novel, uniquely created from writing prompts with no edits.
“Hannah Meredith has always had a good eye and she’s a veteran bargain hunter, but she isn’t prepared, when she buys the box marked “Stuff” at a mysterious auction, for her world to suddenly unravel into a series of increasingly bizarre and terrifying events.

Soon on the run from a sinister cabal of vengeful corporate villains and their homicidal henchmen, Hannah must foil an evil plan to bring the world to the brink of global economic collapse, all the while keeping one step ahead of her pursuers.

A fast-moving thriller with a sci-fi twist, the plot stretches from chases through grimy backstreets of Victorian London back to the present day, where sudden violence shatters the tranquility of the English countryside. 
Following Hannah and her unlikely allies in their frantic attempt to stay alive and save the world from disaster, The Wrong Stuff is exciting and original, with more than a touch of black humour.”
This is the UK Amazon link…

AMAZON UK

…and for those of you further afield, there’s this one:

THE REST OF THE WORLD

The reviews:
***** – “The Wrong Stuff is a fast paced, rollicking adventure.”
***** – “Easy to read, difficult to put down.”
**** – “Fast moving…cleverly crafted.”
***** – “From start to finish it had me. It had drama and suspense, all tinged with a slice of black humour.”

 

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Scoop!..

A friend of mine back in Sussex posted a photo to me on Facebook today, (this one had nothing to do with imaginary, terrible biopics) and I thought that I should share it with you. 

The photo itself has no great aesthetic value, (no offence, Baz) it’s more the content that pleases me, because, well, the content is me.

And here it is, a clipping from today’s national Sun “newspaper”, which, without wishing to appear ungrateful, I wouldn’t wrap my chips in, let alone read (“read” being a relative term) but they get a pass for this specific square inch of print:

Where they acquired this journalistic scoop is a mystery, although I suspect it may have something to do with the interview I did for the local paper on Monday, although it doesn’t seem to be on the North Devon Gazette website yet, so it’s still a bit of a puzzle.

However, it does give me a perfect reason to remind you about my book (I wrote it on my phone, you know) which is available now on Kindle and in paperback.

It’s called The Wrong Stuff and it really is utterly brilliant and terribly exciting, so you should definitely buy it.

And one for a friend.

This is the Amazon.com link (for America and beyond).

Use this one for Amazon UK.

Here are some reviews, including one from the very marvellous Mr Richard Thorns, whose excellent novel, Gravenhead, can be found HERE and who readers of this blog may remember better as Zippy.

***** – “The Wrong Stuff is a fast paced, rollicking adventure.”

***** – “Easy to read, difficult to put down.”

**** – “Fast moving…cleverly crafted.”

***** – “From start to finish it had me. It had drama and suspense, all tinged with a slice of black humour.”

Over to you, Zip;

EXCLUSIVE: MURDEROUS TOP FINANCIER IN SECRET WORLD-DOMINATION ANTIQUES ROADSHOW SHAME.

By R. Thorns on 10 January 2017

I bought this book purely because of two things: firstly I was intrigued by Guy Thair’s method of writing, using one-word prompts from the followers of his blogging resumes; I thought this was a really fresh and inspirational way of putting a story together, one that did wonders for him, too, no doubt, by sharpening the imagination as the story went along. The second reason was that I really like Guy’s blogs and always find them thoughtful and meaningful, with new ways of looking at the world, and never dull or uninspiring (do check them out).

‘The Wrong Stuff’ begins as a sleepy antiques hunt, and you never think you are going to eavesdrop on plots of financial world-domination, a firefight in a very strange location or a romp through Victorian streets, but you are! And very enjoyable it is, too. I thought the book might run out of steam or be stuck for a realistic ending, but both fears went unrealised – actually the ending is very convincing, as is the treatment of time travel which has slipped up many an author in the past.

I only give 5 stars to the likes of Dickens, so there’s no shame in four! This is a very good read! Personally, I liked the Victoriana segment over the initial, modern-day scenario, but that’s just me. Even if you aren’t familiar with the blogs, I think you’ll like this; if you are, I know you will.”

 

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Random photo mashup…

Did you hear the bizarre story this week, about Sky TV’s (unsurprisingly cancelled) drama about Michael Jackson, starring Joseph Fiennes?

Well I was chatting to a friend about that doomed project on Facebook today, which led to a discussion about which inappropriate actors could be cast as recently departed musical icons.

While she suggested that Samuel L Jackson and Denzel Washington should star in Wham: The Final Stand, I quite fancied the idea of David Bowie: Heroes to Ashes starring Ray Winstone and Lemmy: Last Wild Man of Rock with Peewee Herman in the lead role.

But my friend wasn’t convinced:

“Both good choices.  Though I fear they are a little too Caucasian to portray these roles effectively”

She was right, of course, so I reevaluated my decision to have everyone’s favourite short, stocky, East End hard man play the Thin White Duke and instead went for everyone’s favourite smoldering, six-packed, tortured hard man, Idris Elba.

This met with a great deal more enthusiasm, (to be honest, I think she’s got a bit of a weakness for him) so I thought I’d provide her with a visual interpretation of my casting idea and I was so pleased with the result that I’m sharing it with you, too.

You’re welcome.

{You’ll have to imagine Peewee as Lemmy, it was too disturbing to post} 

 

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New collaboration…

New collaboration…

I’ve always been sucker for getting involved in new projects, ever since I started blogging. 
Whether it’s taking part in Stream of consciousness Saturday Sunday, making up groan-inducing puns for One liner Wednesday, co-writing an ongoing space opera, or helping to curate a weekly interactive photography challenge, it has never taken much persuading to get me fired up about new ideas.

So the idea of working with a team of fellow writers on a completely new platform, on a blog dedicated to short fiction, well, it was an opportunity to good to pass up.

Just over a year ago, whilst idly scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I spotted a post from a site called FoulEnt, with a somewhat inflammatory but amusing headline, (I forget exactly which one it was, but as I have since discovered, that description could be applied to most of their output) so I clicked the bait and read the post. It was hilarious, I do remember that, so I liked their page and have followed the anarchic, sweary, laddish, occasionally near the knuckle but always entertaining posts ever since.

Soon after I read that first post, I sent a friend request to Frank King, (also known by his considerably more offensive, four letter pseudonym) one of FoulEnt’s small team of writers, and we immediately hit it off, sharing a similar sense of humour, a love of words and writing and a talent for talking bollocks.

It wasn’t long before I discovered that “Frank King” is in fact a sort of gestalt entity, made up of at least two different people (who, rather confusingly for me at first, all use the same messenger account) and that “he” was interested in opening a profile on the relatively new blogging platform, Niume.

The site gives writers, photographers and creatives in many other spheres of interest access to a ready made community of fellow users, with whom to share your work (the categories or interests on Niume are split up into a number of these Spheres, to enable you to target the right audience for your content, then you can follow whatever combination of spheres you choose, which then appear in your home feed, much like the WordPress reader) with the added bonus that the pages are pre-loaded with unobtrusive advertising, meaning you can make money simply from generating page views.
Each post must have a picture included, for use as a thumbnail, making the site very eye-catching and all you need to set up a profile is an e-mail address, which we have now done, the blog going live a couple of weeks ago.

I should warn you, (unnecessarily and rather belatedly, if you have already checked the FoulEnt link above) that there is adult humour and strong language in a lot of the posts, but they are also very well written and great fun to read. So far I have only contributed stories that were already written and published on this blog, as I’ve been too busy with promoting The Wrong Stuff recently to do anything else, but the Franks and co from FoulEnt have been coming up with some real gems and I really do recommend you go over and check out their work; it’s a totally different kettle of fish to their usual LadMag style and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised, not to mention impressed with the quality of their storytelling abilities.

Oh, and what was the name that was chosen for this new venture? Well, you know the sort of books you find in the smallest room in the house, the ones a considerate host will, if you’re lucky, provide for a comfortable read as you unburden yourself? What would you call that type of easily digestible, fun-size literary chunks?

How about Toileterature?

Yep, that’s us, so click the link or the logo above and come over to visit our lovely new Niume page and let Toileterature entertain you.

 

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Reblog: No Sympathy Required.

Hi there, how is your weekend going?
Happy and healthy, I hope, with no niggling little worries?

Well, I’d like to take a moment to tell you about a new blog, which I have been helping a friend set up today.

Lanthie has recently had some rather scary news and, instead of hiding herself away and feeling sorry for herself, she has chosen to write about it in her usual way; with humour, strength and humanity.

So I’d like you to do me a big favour; go over and say hi to Lanthie and give Lump, what lump? a follow.

Thanks

Lump, what lump?

Hello dear world

This post is written by a mere mortal.

A self realization has dawned; that there are things that scare me and the reality that we all die.
I am not the sort who plays the victim or who likes to play on others’ emotions, so this post is not meant to envoke any sympathy from any of you out there.

I was reading FB earlier today and noticed a post by a friend who was in hospital having what I think is her breast removed. Yes, she has cancer.

And yes, so do I.

At first, I thought about contacting her and asking questions and telling her that it will all be ok. But to be honest it all feels a bit awkward.

One doesn’t want to pry.

So what does one do in a situation like this?
I suddenly realized that she is probably not too…

View original post 523 more words

 
 

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