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March of the Internet Nobody, day eighteen, part two…

I finally got round to wading through a few e-mails today and happened to stumble upon a post from Luccia Gray over at Rereading Jane Eyre who had nominated me for the My First Post Revisited blog hop feature.

As it happens, I took part in a similar first post challenge not all that long ago and obviously there would be no point in reposting the same post again, especially since it was my second ever post which featured in that last challenge, as the first post on Diary of an Internet Nobody got inadvertently deleted in the intervening five years or so.

Following so far?

Well, I suggested to Luccia that she choose a number between 3 and 10 and I would then reblog the corresponding post from the archives for your reading pleasure.

She picked number 4, so the next post you see will be the fourth time I ventured forth into the blogosphere.

I also have to nominate five other bloggers to (if they so choose) take part in the blog rewind and here are my five nominees:

My Silver Streaks

The Thoughts of Life and Me

Willow dot 21

It Is What It Is

Joeyfully Stated

Pop over and check out their blogs, too, while you’re here, there’s bound to be something to amuse, amaze or entertain you.
Up next, youthful high jinx in theatre land.

Prepare to go back in time…

 

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The rise of The Woolhouse Boys…

If you’ve been reading my ramblings for any length of time, you’ll already be aware that I’m a huge fan of Twin Peaks and you won’t be at all surprised to hear that I’m looking forward to the belated arrival of season three with great anticipation.

But although I was completely obsessed with the show when it first aired, I’m not the sort of po-faced, chin stroking überfan who has an instant sense of humour failure, when someone pokes fun at the extraordinary blend of art house soap opera, surreal comedy and paranormal film noir that was David Lynch’s television masterpiece.

In fact, I’m perfectly happy to join in.

So when I discovered a Facebook group called The Woolhouse Boys, I realised that I was amongst likeminded folks with a similar sense of the absurd.

Billy Zane (above, centre; flanked by Twin Peaks’ finest, Michael Ontkean and Kyle Maclachlan, as Sheriff Harry S Truman and FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper) played a largely unnecessary character called John Justice Wheeler, who apparently arrived solely to sweep pouting, virginal sex kitten Audrey Horne off her feet whilst he lounged around in garish knitwear.

Well The Woolhouse Boys have given a new lease of life to Mr Zane’s foppish creation, skillfully Photoshopping him into a range of amusingly bizarre new scenes from the original series and beyond.

But that isn’t all, oh no; for the fascination with Mr John Justice Wheeler is primarily with his choice of woollen garment and it is the skill with which they have edited his trademark striped sweater onto various other characters that makes their photo collages and memes so hilarious. At least they are to a veteran of many a Twin Peaks marathon such as myself and I think that even non-Peakies will appreciate the attention to detail in their creations.

So I’d like to present a selection from the rapidly expanding portfolio, some of which were manipulated by yours truly; ladies and gentlemen, The Woolhouse Boys.

{Tony Stanic, Joel Peacock, Mark Zandi, Dan Jones, Christian Hartleben}

{Original source material: David Lynch/Showtime }
#WoolhouseBoys

Why not follow the Woolhouse Boys Tumblr page to keep up with our latest creations.

 

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Stream of consciousness Sunday: Intermission (My new favourite game)…

I’ve left it far too late to continue with The Accumulator today, so after catching up with ourselves by coming back to the present in last week’s episode, we’ll have a break until next weekend and I’ll use Linda G Hill‘s prompt for a quick SoCS contractual obligation post instead;

” “ham.” Use it any way you’d like. “

No problem…

Rhonda made me us snack for lunch today; a puff pastry tart with asparagus, sweet peppers, bacon, Parma ham, mushrooms and mozzarella cheese, it was absolutely gorgeous.

Right, that’s that taken care of, now on to the important stuff.

My New Favourite Game.

As you may well be aware, the long-awaited third season of David Lynch‘s groundbreaking soap noir, Twin Peaks is soon to be upon us and I’m as excited by the prospect now as I was when the original series aired, over twenty five years ago.

This anticipation has even prompted me to join a fan-curated Twin Peaks Facebook group, where discussion of new season plotlines, old theories and their future implications, TP related trivia and all things Lynchian, is ramping up to fever pitch prior to the May 21st worldwide release of the season premier.

While scrolling through the sea of “Who is the cutest girl/evilest villain/strangest character” memes, hugely complicated and contrived explanations of the many enigmatic or downright weird scenes from the first two seasons and photos of superfans with Twin Peaks tattoos, I started to notice a lot of stripey jumpers.

That’s sweaters to you, America.

Then I realised it was more specific than that, these were all photos of the very same sweater; one that had been worn by season two cameo-in-search-of-a-plot and Audrey Horne’s love interest, Billy Zane, as the sartorially challenged millionaire eco-warrior, John Justice Wheeler.

I noticed a lot of puzzled and sometimes rather snippy comments from hardcore “Peakies” on these photos, and not because they featured a largely-ignored and/or derided character either, but because they were all cleverly doctored for comic effect.

You see, some evil genius had been using Photoshop to insert John Justice Wheeler and his garish knitwear into classic scenes from the series, or better still, dressing another character in his sweater, sometimes even multiple characters. 

They were all brilliant. And hilarious. Unless you were a member of the Peakognoscenti of course, then it was sacrilege.

Anyway, never one to miss a chance to muck about with photos on my phone, I posted a sweaterised picture in the comment thread on one of the posts and, long story, short (for a change); I received an invitation to join the mysterious #woolhouseboys and have subsequently spent an inordinate amount of time this weekend, using PicSayPro to manipulate photos of a brightly coloured woolly jumper (with and without Billy Zane inside it) into humorous situations, primarily for my own amusement.

In the next couple of days I will be devoting an entire post to the sterling work done by the creators of this excellent group, (soon to also have dedicated Twitter and Tumblr accounts) which will feature some of my own humble contributions, but for now I’ll leave you with a gif I made from one of the most iconic scenes in the original series; Glastonbury Woolenbury Grove.

Stay tuned, all will become clear, honest…

**********

#SoCS

Pingback to Linda G Hill.

 

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Interview: Deano’s Grill…

Today I’m pleased to share with you an interview I did for James D Mortain a few weeks ago. 
The format of the interview itself was very novel, (no pun intended) given that it was carried out by a fictional detective called Andrew ‘Deano’ Deans and he gave me a gentle but thorough grilling about The Wrong Stuff and writing in general.

Please hop over via the link below, check out our chat and have a look round at his site.

***GUY THAIR AT DEANO’S GRILL : WRITING THE WRONG STUFF***

***BUY YOUR COPY OF THE WRONG STUFF HERE***

 

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Q+A…

I was recognised in the Post Office yesterday. 

And I don’t just mean that someone who knows me, saw me and succeeded in matching my likeness to the library of faces in their memory; no, I was recognised.

I was in there to mail a copy of my debut novel, The Wrong Stuff, to a friend I met at the Weird Weekend, way back in 2012, before the world went mad. 

He had made me the generous offer of buying my book and, as a bonus, having it delivered to my address, along with another book of my choice, so that I could sign mine and mail it back to him. So when it arrived (with a JK Rowling reissue of a Harry Potter spinoff of some kind, for Audrey) I inscribed it with a suitably personalised message and took it to the local Post Office. 

The woman behind the counter took one look at me with my book-shaped padded envelope and said; 

“Is that a copy of your book you’re posting there, then? It was you I saw in the Gazette, wasn’t it?”

Which goes to show that people do read local papers, or at least read the headlines and look at the pictures…

Elsewhere, ATLA Publishing described me as “our star author, Guy Thair” on their Twitter feed and Chrissie Parker at Fossend Publishing did a very nice interview with me for their blog;

***WHICH YOU CAN FIND HERE***

I would be very pleased and terribly honoured if you would click the links below and get your very own copy (if you pay the postage, I might even sign it for you) and maybe one for a friend.

Thank you.

********

For those of you who don’t already know, here comes the blurb:

The Wrong Stuff, a totally improvised novel, uniquely created from writing prompts with no edits.
“Hannah Meredith has always had a good eye and she’s a veteran bargain hunter, but she isn’t prepared, when she buys the box marked “Stuff” at a mysterious auction, for her world to suddenly unravel into a series of increasingly bizarre and terrifying events.

Soon on the run from a sinister cabal of vengeful corporate villains and their homicidal henchmen, Hannah must foil an evil plan to bring the world to the brink of global economic collapse, all the while keeping one step ahead of her pursuers.

A fast-moving thriller with a sci-fi twist, the plot stretches from chases through grimy backstreets of Victorian London back to the present day, where sudden violence shatters the tranquility of the English countryside. 
Following Hannah and her unlikely allies in their frantic attempt to stay alive and save the world from disaster, The Wrong Stuff is exciting and original, with more than a touch of black humour.”
This is the UK Amazon link…

AMAZON UK

…and for those of you further afield, there’s this one:

THE REST OF THE WORLD

The reviews:
***** – “The Wrong Stuff is a fast paced, rollicking adventure.”
***** – “Easy to read, difficult to put down.”
**** – “Fast moving…cleverly crafted.”
***** – “From start to finish it had me. It had drama and suspense, all tinged with a slice of black humour.”

 

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Scoop!..

A friend of mine back in Sussex posted a photo to me on Facebook today, (this one had nothing to do with imaginary, terrible biopics) and I thought that I should share it with you. 

The photo itself has no great aesthetic value, (no offence, Baz) it’s more the content that pleases me, because, well, the content is me.

And here it is, a clipping from today’s national Sun “newspaper”, which, without wishing to appear ungrateful, I wouldn’t wrap my chips in, let alone read (“read” being a relative term) but they get a pass for this specific square inch of print:

Where they acquired this journalistic scoop is a mystery, although I suspect it may have something to do with the interview I did for the local paper on Monday, although it doesn’t seem to be on the North Devon Gazette website yet, so it’s still a bit of a puzzle.

However, it does give me a perfect reason to remind you about my book (I wrote it on my phone, you know) which is available now on Kindle and in paperback.

It’s called The Wrong Stuff and it really is utterly brilliant and terribly exciting, so you should definitely buy it.

And one for a friend.

This is the Amazon.com link (for America and beyond).

Use this one for Amazon UK.

Here are some reviews, including one from the very marvellous Mr Richard Thorns, whose excellent novel, Gravenhead, can be found HERE and who readers of this blog may remember better as Zippy.

***** – “The Wrong Stuff is a fast paced, rollicking adventure.”

***** – “Easy to read, difficult to put down.”

**** – “Fast moving…cleverly crafted.”

***** – “From start to finish it had me. It had drama and suspense, all tinged with a slice of black humour.”

Over to you, Zip;

EXCLUSIVE: MURDEROUS TOP FINANCIER IN SECRET WORLD-DOMINATION ANTIQUES ROADSHOW SHAME.

By R. Thorns on 10 January 2017

I bought this book purely because of two things: firstly I was intrigued by Guy Thair’s method of writing, using one-word prompts from the followers of his blogging resumes; I thought this was a really fresh and inspirational way of putting a story together, one that did wonders for him, too, no doubt, by sharpening the imagination as the story went along. The second reason was that I really like Guy’s blogs and always find them thoughtful and meaningful, with new ways of looking at the world, and never dull or uninspiring (do check them out).

‘The Wrong Stuff’ begins as a sleepy antiques hunt, and you never think you are going to eavesdrop on plots of financial world-domination, a firefight in a very strange location or a romp through Victorian streets, but you are! And very enjoyable it is, too. I thought the book might run out of steam or be stuck for a realistic ending, but both fears went unrealised – actually the ending is very convincing, as is the treatment of time travel which has slipped up many an author in the past.

I only give 5 stars to the likes of Dickens, so there’s no shame in four! This is a very good read! Personally, I liked the Victoriana segment over the initial, modern-day scenario, but that’s just me. Even if you aren’t familiar with the blogs, I think you’ll like this; if you are, I know you will.”

 

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Random photo mashup…

Did you hear the bizarre story this week, about Sky TV’s (unsurprisingly cancelled) drama about Michael Jackson, starring Joseph Fiennes?

Well I was chatting to a friend about that doomed project on Facebook today, which led to a discussion about which inappropriate actors could be cast as recently departed musical icons.

While she suggested that Samuel L Jackson and Denzel Washington should star in Wham: The Final Stand, I quite fancied the idea of David Bowie: Heroes to Ashes starring Ray Winstone and Lemmy: Last Wild Man of Rock with Peewee Herman in the lead role.

But my friend wasn’t convinced:

“Both good choices.  Though I fear they are a little too Caucasian to portray these roles effectively”

She was right, of course, so I reevaluated my decision to have everyone’s favourite short, stocky, East End hard man play the Thin White Duke and instead went for everyone’s favourite smoldering, six-packed, tortured hard man, Idris Elba.

This met with a great deal more enthusiasm, (to be honest, I think she’s got a bit of a weakness for him) so I thought I’d provide her with a visual interpretation of my casting idea and I was so pleased with the result that I’m sharing it with you, too.

You’re welcome.

{You’ll have to imagine Peewee as Lemmy, it was too disturbing to post} 

 

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