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Category Archives: Karla

Dog days 6. (occasional tales of life with my people)…

Missed the beginning? Go back to part one here…

Part 6 – Slowing down.

(Translated from the original by dalecooper57)

Karla is a lady now.
She tells me so.

Karla is The Numphlet to Him and to Her.
But to everyone else I am Karla.

Now when we go out, I walk next to Her, I don’t run after things that jump in the grass.
I sniff all the wonderful smells, but I don’t want to play chase anymore.
Karla still loves sticks, but only slow ones.

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Sometimes after a swim, Karla feels tired now, legs all wobbly.

But when I go out to The Park with my people and I stop to swap smells with another dog, They sometimes talk to the other dog’s people.

They say things like;
– Oh isn’t she beautiful! She’s a puppy isn’t she?
– No, she’s actually nine.
Or;
– Actually she’s ten, if you can believe that. But she still thinks she’s a puppy, that’s what it is.

(I don’t know what “nine” or “ten” is, but they seem proud of me so I jump and jump, barking and wagging my tail, to make sure They know I’m happy about it)

– See? Still a puppy at heart. Karla calm down, you’re too old for that, you’ll hurt yourself.

But Karla can’t help it.
Karla loves being outside, and sometimes the feeling of freedom is too much and I have to run and run.
But the outside is scary too, there are noises outside that frighten Karla.

Sometimes, when They are talking to other dogs’ people, they’ll say;
– She’s getting terrible now, she’s frightened of everything.
She was really brave when she was a puppy, now if someone bursts a balloon a mile away, she’s off.

Oh, Karla thinks that’s unfair.

Wait. Was that a noise?

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Right, Karla thinks it’s time for a trot back to the car now.
Ok, more of a gallop really.
Well, maybe just a bit faster.

– KARLA! Mind the traffic!
– Good grief, that (bad word) dog has the road sense of a watermelon.
– You bad girl, you nearly got run over.

Back at the car now.
Safe.
{Innocent look} Who, me?
Happy now, even though He is angry. He’s not really angry, Karla knows.

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“Ok, we’re here now, close the door and let’s go!”

Who said anything about slowing down?

Except when we get home, then Karla does feel tired.
But that’s ok too, as long as I’m near Them.
And after all, there’s always room for one more on the big bed at sleep time.

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Karla dreams of chasing sticks.
Karla dreams of chasing the big stupid birds.
Karla dreams of running and running.

Karla dreams…

 

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Final score…

So it’s official.
The votes have been counted, the totals tallied and the ‘taches tittivated.

Faces have been palmed, donations handed in and awards handed out.
Posts have been polled, opinions have been opined and I will finally feature a physiognomy free from facial fungus.

That’s right, it’s results time folks and first of all I’d like to doff one final congratulatory cap towards Mr Adam Pain for organising such a top event last weekend.

Only today A World Of Pain posted a message of thanks to all those involved which I have his kind permission to reproduce here.

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Next up is Movember.
I’d like to thank everyone who has donated money or posted words of encouragement, and to pay tribute to fellow Mo Bros and Mo Sistas whose sheepish thumbs-up whilst indicating their own top lip topiary has become the international salute of Team Movember.

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My own modest campaign has made £70, contributing to a worldwide total to date (involving 964,862 fundraisers) that has reached the astounding sum of, get this, £54,241, 979!

Amazing effort all round I think you’ll agree, one that will allow charities around the world to continue the good work they do in the research and treatment of prostate cancer and other men’s health issues.

Oh, and special mention to honorary Mo Sista and Diary of an Internet Nobody Movember mascot, Queen Audrey of Michigan.

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Which brings me to the results of the first Readers Choice Award for most popular blog post.

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I wasn’t sure what to expect when I decided to try polling my readers to find out their top three favourite posts.
What I found is that people like reading but they don’t like voting, so I had to put together a shortlist myself.
I would have liked to have got a few more people engaged in voting, but I’m happy with the result none the less.

Drum roll please.

With 27% of the vote, the runaway winner of my first ever blog poll is Dog days. (occasional tales of life with my people)… the episodic life stories of our much-missed dog Karla, told from her own unique perspective.

A fitting result, as it is almost exactly two years ago that we lost her, and one which has prompted me to “translate” another chapter of her memoirs for my next post.

Karla loved being made a fuss of, so I’m sure she would have appreciated all the attention from her new fans.
I can just see her happy little face now…

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I shall leave the poll on the Greatest hits… page active for a while, just in case anyone new to the blog fancies checking out the others on the list.

So that’s about it, thank you again to all who got involved and watch out for my review of the year, coming soon…

 

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Dog days 5 (occasional tales of life with my people)…

Missed the start? go to part one.

              Part five – Clumsy.

          (Trans – dalecooper57)

Karla is grown up now.
Now I am allowed to walk on my own, without my lead.
I don’t like going too far from Them when we go out though, so that’s ok.

But sometimes I get frightened by things.
When Karla was very small, Karla wasn’t afraid of anything except being left on my own.
Now there are so many places we go with bad noises and smells. Like The Town.
Karla hates the Town.

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Karla gets left outside when They go into places in Town.

One day, Karla was tied to a noisy, scary thing outside, (A rotating metal advertising sign on a stand -Trans.) when the other who stays with Karla’s people sometimes, took me into Town
When I stay outside, kind others stroke me and make kind noises, but Karla still trembles.

This day, an other walked past and when they hit the scary thing, it made a frightening noise.
Karla has had enough.
Karla wants to go back home.
Karla can run very fast.

Lots of cars. Lots of people.
Karla can’t escape the noisy thing, it is chasing me.
Karla runs through the scary Town, with the frightening, clanging thing still on the end of my lead.
It’s bouncing on cars. People are shouting.

I hear my other shouting too,
– Karla, stop! Karla, come here!

But Karla runs straight across where noisy roads cross over.
Shouting is getting fainter now,
– Somebody stop her! Karla, for (bad word)’s sake!

Suddenly, a strange other grabs me as I run past.
There is not much left of the scary thing. Karla has killed it

My other catches up. Very red face, angry,
– Thanks mate. Karla, you bad girl!

When we get home, my people fuss me lots,
– Oh, look at her feet, her claws are bleeding.
– She ran off with a sign, I couldn’t catch her. Ran right over the crossroads, nearly gave me a heart attack.
– Right Karla, lampshade time.

Oh no, not the lampshade!

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I have to wear this when I hurt myself, They think it is funny.
Karla doesn’t.

Once, Karla ran into a fence and hurt her ear. They took me to the Bad Place, and I had sharp, pulling things put in my ear.
And the lampshade. Again.

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Still not funny.

Karla got scared by a noise another time, and ran into a very hard stone post really fast.
He made me run back to the car,  and took me to a different Bad Place.
The red stuff stopped coming out of Karla’s face before we got there.
Karla was a good girl. I licked and licked, until it had all come off my fur.

The others at the Bad Place made a fuss,
– Ooh, she’s beautiful.
– It doesn’t look too bad, we’ll give her a couple of stitches and call you later.

He went away and left Karla.
Trembling.

Kind others cleaned Karla’s face where it’s still sticky and sore.
Suddenly, lots of red stuff, coming out in a big spray. All over the kind people,
– Damn, think she’s nicked an artery. We’ll have to put her under and repair it.

Sharp thorn in Karla’s foot.
Ow. Karla has had enough now.
Karla will go home.
Oh, Karla can’t make her legs work.
Mmmm, lovely, warm fuzzy feeling.
Karla thinks a sleep would be nice after all.

Waking up, all dozy and warm.
Where am I? Oh, Karla remembers now.
And what’s this? Oh, another lampshade.

Karla must be more careful, They say.
But sometimes, playing is too important, and Karla forgets.

Karla has hurt her foot in the river, poked her eye on a stick chasing the little white tailed hopping things, and once, when Karla saw one of those nasty meowing things in our garden, I ran after it.
But I forgot the big, clear door was shut.
Karla hit it very fast, made me see funny shapes in my head. Dizzy.

Clumsy Karla.

But my family always looks after me.
Even if they do keep my lampshade, just in case.

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3 Comments

Posted by on February 15, 2013 in Karla, Personal anecdote

 

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Dog day days 4 (occasional tales of life with my people)…

Missed the beginning of my story? start at part one.   

    Part four – Going away.

      (Trans. – dalecooper57)

Sometimes the family (not pack, now Karla has a family) goes to places away from home.

Karla loves going away.
But only if Karla and family go away together.

Sometimes the family goes away and Karla must go to Place of Lonely Dogs.

They call them Kennels.

The people are good, they are kind. But the place is full of noise.
It smells of fear.
Karla is quiet here.
At home Karla barks at everything.
Here Karla is a very good girl.
Karla gets extra walks with the kind kennel-people.

When the family come back, Karla is so happy.
But I still remember to glare at them later, to show them I am not happy being left alone.

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This is the look I give them.
He calls this picture Black Lodge Dog.

The best times are when I go with them to other places.
We all go in the car, sometimes a very long time, to a new home.
New smells. So exciting.
Family takes Karla’s bed for her.
Smells safe. Karla loves her bed.

Other times, we take home with us.
He takes a big soft bag, and hard, rattling sticks, and builds a house in a field!
It’s called Tent.
We get to live outside all the time.

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She and I, relaxing by tent.

Sometimes living in tent is scary.
The wind makes the walls shake and sway.
Very noisy.
I feel safer near Them.
Sometimes He says Karla is a bad girl when I sleep on his head (just to keep him safe) and wake Him up in the night.

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This tent was like a big ball.

We go to lots of exciting places when we live in tent.
Many rivers to swim in, many sticks to chase.
All He wants to do is look into a little box all the time.

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One day, we are playing with sticks in a river, He throws a stick, it is caught in a tree.
Karla can’t reach.
Tree is over the river.
Karla looks for Him. Karla needs help.
He is looking into his little box, laughing.

Karla really wants stick back.
Can’t quite reach.
Maybe if I stretch just a bit higher…

Not funny, no.

They take Karla to places that have lots of big open spaces to run in…

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…lots of sticks to chase…

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…lots of long walks to go on. We went away in tent once, and went on long steep walks every day!
(the Malvern hills – Trans.)
Here is me, with Him, resting after a long climb;

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They always take me to other places that have lots of space outside…

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…They even take me away with them when Karla has hurt herself…

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…and we sometimes go to places where there are no other people at all…

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…which is Karla’s favourite, because I love spending all my time with Them.

Karla loves going away with the family.
Karla loves coming back the most though.
It’s always good to come home, to lie in my place by Her side on the sofa.

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Karla loves home best.

(Thank you to Ho for additional photos)

 
6 Comments

Posted by on December 30, 2012 in Karla, Personal anecdote, Photography, Travel

 

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Dog days 3…

    Part three – Growing up fast.

(Trans. – dalecooper57)

Everything is happening so fast now.
Days go past like,…like,…like things that are not here for long.

Karla goes out every day now.
Oh, Karla loves going out.
Mainly, She takes me out – He goes away in the day, to the place that makes Him smell bad – sometimes we go in the Car (the smelly box is a Car) to the places with the fun-water.
And sometimes we walk up the hard floor hill until we get to the Field.

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Karla has learnt Car, and Field, and Walk, and Dinner. And lots of other words.
Karla is a Clever Girl!

Karla has leant other things too, not just words.
Karla has learnt she doesn’t like Baths at all.

One day, She took me to our Fields, near the House (new word for lair) and we were playing Fun With Sticks, our favourite game.
She was throwing away perfectly good sticks, and no matter how many times I brought them back, she didn’t understand how nice they were, and threw them away again.

Karla knows what to do with sticks.
Sticks are for chewing.
Sticks are for carrying, however big they are.

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While I was looking for yet another stick that wasn’t good enough for Her, I smelled something so good.
I had to find it, it smelled so doggy, but much, much stronger.

Wild.

I sniffed and sniffed and sniffed, even when She called to me.
And then I found it!

Oh, it was so powerful.
I just had to smell like that too.

I rolled, and rolled, and rolled…

She said
– Karla, what did you do?
Oh, you smell awful!

She said
– You’re going to need a Bath…

When we got home, He was there.
He said
– What the hell has she rolled in?
She said
– I think it’s fox poo.
He said
– Right, in the Bath then.

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           Nooooo! Not a Bath!

I knew. I knew what He was going to do.
He tried to pretend something nice was Upstairs.
Ha! Karla is a Clever Girl.
Karla doesn’t want to go.

He not play fair. Put Karla’s lead on her. Drag Karla up to Bath.

Frightening.
Smells wrong.
Bright, shiny.
Slippy in Bath, Karla can’t stand up properly.

He makes it Rain really hard.
Rubs horrible smelling stuff in Karla’s fur.

Karla has had enough.

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                    Escape!

Now, Karla doesn’t go in Bath anymore.
He makes it rain hard, and really cold outside instead.

It’s still better.

But Karla likes fun-water.
Water that moves, and is deep.
Water to chase Sticks in.
Water to dive in.

Look at what a good swimmer Karla is!

Karla can Swim very well.
Karla knows Swim.
She says
– Do you want to go for a swim?
Karla sooooo happy. Jumping. Barking. Yes please!

We go in the Car to The Meadow, which is like really big field, but with long fun-water at the bottom.
It has Sticks, and Mud, and lots of exciting smells.
And sometimes, there are little, furry, hopping things. They run really fast.
Karla always chases them.
They always get away, but Karla doesn’t mind.

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Here’s me with a really good Stick in the Meadow.

And then, after we walk round The Meadow, we get to the really fun part.

Karla runs to the fun-water, and…

Karla leaps!

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Leap to part four.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on December 9, 2012 in Karla, Personal anecdote

 

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Dog days 2 (occasional tales of life with my people)…

    Part two – Learning the world.

(Trans. – dalecooper57)

So many things to learn.
So many places to explore.

I have to stay inside the lair for long.
But I can go out to the world behind the lair so not to mess inside.
I ask my People by scratching on big see-through wall. They’re pleased with Karla, say Good girl! make Karla very happy.

Sometimes, I have to go to the Bad Place, to see the nice She in crisp white skin. But I’m not feeling poorly, and she sticks thorns in me that make me feel sore.
But I can go there in the smelly moving box, and look through the clear bits to watch the big world.
I so want to explore.

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Then, one day, HE puts a thing, a tight thing, around my neck.
And He puts a long thing on that
He talks to me, sounds like;
There, that’s your lead, shall we go out?

He opens the door, (the clear wall that moves is called “door”) and looks at me.
I don’t know what He expects, usually when we go out to the Bad Place, I’m picked up and carried to the smelly box.
He steps outside, and stands looking at me. He pulls on the lead thing, and I dig my front claws into the soft inside ground.

He makes the happy noise people make because they don’t have tails to wag, and bends to pick me up.
He puts me on the outside ground, and He walks away from the lair, gently pulling the lead.

I suddenly realise what is happening.
I’m going exploring!

Very, very happy!
Jump. Jump. Jump.
Grab the lead with my teeth and shake it.
This makes Him do the happy noise again, so I do it again.
Now She, and the small other he are coming with us too.
Oh, so exciting.

We all walk up a tall, hard place before we get to a huge place, covered in the gloriously soft, excitingly smelly green stuff that you can chew, and roll in, and run about and never get to the edge of.

I’m so happy.
I love my new People.

After forever (it must be forever, it seems so long) we go back to the lair.
Karla had dinner.
Karla had treats, because Karla is a good girl.

I’m allowed to sit up on the big soft thing with Her.
I lie on my back, with my legs in the air, and She rubs my tummy.
Karla likes this, and I think it makes Her happy too.

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This pose always makes people happy, so I do it a lot.

We also go long in the smelly moving box to a magic place with a huge bath that goes on forever, and ground that is all soft and yellow, and you can dig in it.
And it’s better than a bath, because it moves, and you can chase Sticks in it.

Karla Loves sticks.

Karla has a special, big, round stick that can fly.

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There is food everywhere. Not just Karla-food, but all sorts of things that smell so good.
Karla has her food in her special bowl, on the floor.
So. Floor food is Karla food.

There is another He who stays in the lair lots of times. Not of the pack, but kind, like my People.
He has a big soft thing that he carries on his back.
He puts it on the floor lots, and it smells wonderful.
It must be for Karla.
It must be a game, because it’s very difficult to get to. 
I reach it, and it’s all covered in shiny stuff that hurts Karla’s teeth.
But when I get to the inside, the brown, sticky, hard stuff is delicious and I eat lots and lots of it.
Then the He who isn’t of the pack comes in.
I wag my tail to thank Him, but he growls at me.

Karla is a Bad Girl.

Life is very hard to learn.
It doesn’t seem fair that dogs can understand Dog, dog’s can understand People, but people can’t understand Dog.
Maybe they take more long to learn.

I’ll have to be patient with them…

Come and see how well I’m training them…

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 23, 2012 in Karla, Personal anecdote

 

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Dog days (occasional tales of life with my people)…

A year ago this week, we lost our beautiful dog, Karla.
Fate dropped her into our lives when she was given to us in the street.
For thirteen years, we were privileged to share her life.

         Part one – Beginnings.

(Translated from the original by dalecooper57)

May 28th – July 28th 1998.

Warm.

Sleepy.

Soft, furry bodies.

Mother.

Milk.

Sleepy…

It’s been dark and light lots of times now. They’re called days I think. In the light parts we fight, and play, and eat, and play, and fight…
In the dark, we sleep.

There are…others. Who are not us.
But they are kind, they feed us.
The day before this one, they took two of us away.
Will they be back?

This day, an other came. It (she?) picked me up. Only our others did that before. After, she talked to our others. She went away.

This day, the other other came back. She took me away to her lair. She smelt wrong.
Her pack sounded angry.
Now I’m back here, but something is wrong, we can’t go in for some reason.
The other is just standing here, holding me.
Hungry.
Many others everywhere.
Lots of smells.

Two others, talking to the other that holds me. Sounds like;
-Can I stroke her?
-Yes
Gentle, stroking my head.
-Can we take her home?
-Yes, if you like.
-No, you can’t just give away your puppy.
-She’s not mine, I’m not allowed.

Can’t hear. More talking.
I’m passed to a new other.
This one smells right.

Moving. Long. Bit frightening.

New lair. Smells good. One more other. Growls a bit. Not frightened though, smells good too.

They want me to stay with them!
I heard them talking while the small-other and some small-others from away were playing with me.

July 29th onwards…A New Life.

I like it here.
Even the other that growled when I came here the day before this day is kind now.
He is pack leader.
But I don’t think the she-other thinks so.

They feed me. It’s nice. Milky and soft.
Playing for long.
Very sleepy.
In the dark.
I sleep on my own, on a soft thing. Smells nice, smells of She-other, in a lair with a slippy floor.
Frightened when I wake up.
Still dark.
Scratch on door. Nobody comes.
Am I alone again?
Mess on floor. Didn’t mean to.

Light comes. I hear noise.
HE comes!
SHE comes!
Very happy!
Mess again, so happy.
They are not angry.
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Haven’t got the hang of these ears yet.

Been here many days now. Learning things. Others are people.
My people are kind. They feed me. We play all the time.
Don’t like sleeping alone. Scratch door, make noise.
HE comes, growls, not happy.
But takes me to their high lair.
Warm. Happy.
Sleep near my people.

I love it here.

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Here I am, outside for the first time since I arrived.

I’m now allowed to go outside,  and to go in the noisy, moving thing that takes my people to other places.
Sometimes, it takes us to the Bad Place. It smells of wrongness and fear, but there is a nice she-people (woman) who makes good, calm sounds, and helps me feel better if I hurt myself.

I’m a bit clumsy. I fell off high, onto hard. On my head.

HE made kind noses, he looked worried. I licked him, HE smiled.

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Now, my ears stand up. Both of them.

Now it’s cold outside, I don’t mind. My people look funny in their extra skins when they take me out.
Learning more. Walk is good. Dinner is good.

Karla is good!  I am Karla. Proud of my name.

I have lots of stories already.

I’ll tell you some more soon, got to go and play now…

Come on, let’s go and play…

 
23 Comments

Posted by on November 21, 2012 in Karla, Personal anecdote

 

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