The last word…

31 Dec

Those lovely people at WordPress, the site that hosts Diary of an Internet Nobody, have furnished me with a statistical breakdown of my year in blogging, which you can view in it’s entirety at the end of this post.
If anything, it makes me all the more grateful to all those of you who have taken valuable time out of your no doubt busy schedules to peruse whatever drivel I may have churned out on any given day, and it has also given me some hints on what you appear to like the most about the blog (it seems as though one particular Picture this… photo-blog caught the collective imagination more than any other post) and rest assured I’ve taken all that on board.

Having already conducted a bit of a rant about new years resolutions this time last year, and given that I’m unlikely to top Adam Pain’s brilliant new years eve story, I wasn’t going to bother posting anything today, but that just doesn’t seem right.

I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to bet that back in the days when the week between Christmas and New Year was just one big excuse to go out and get as wrecked as possible, you never thought that you’d become one of the boring bastards who couldn’t be bothered to cram yourself into some packed, standing-room-only pub for six hours of alcohol-induced oblivion.


Meanwhile, back in the ’90s… (yes, that is my real hair)

If you’re anything like me, the idea of getting older and less able to cope with the rigours of partying was probably a totally alien concept to you, the immortality of youth bestowing on us a sort of rose-tinted foresight, enabling us to ignore the impending responsibilities of adulthood, careers, children and seemingly endless debt and allowing the illusion of indestructibility to remain intact until the last possible moment.

I think the last time we went out and properly “did” new year’s eve was a few years after we moved down to Devon.
Elaine and I took a trip over to nearby Bideford – local epicentre for NYE celebrations and a magnet for all of those still young enough to stand around in sub-zero temperatures whilst dressed as tarts/vicars/superheroes/pop stars etc – to go out with a couple of friends who lived there and were putting us up for the night.
We had a great time, the festive buzz and convivial atmosphere in even the most sardine-like pubs recalling the end of year blow-outs of our younger days in Sussex.

In every way but one.

In my teens and twenties I found myself in the enviable position of being largely immune to hangovers and other morning-after-the-night-before maladies. But on the morning after this particular night before I was introduced anew to the joys of incontinent-parrot cage mouth and that immovable, pounding throb that starts somewhere behind the eyes and stretches right back into the deeper recesses of the pickled brainstem, giving an alarmingly realistic impression of someone attempting to drive a red hot icicle through your head with a glass hammer.

The initial thought of “Aaarrgghhh! Make it stop!” was rapidly followed by “Hang on, I don’t get hangovers….Oh, I see, that’s it, I’ve reached that age now have I?”
Because there’s nothing like the low glare of the January morning sunshine trying to weld your retinas to the back of your skull to give you an almost damascene moment of clarity where conspicuous consumption is concerned.

That’s not to say I don’t appreciate a good session occasionally of course, but with the exception of one unfortunately-still-memorable incident (involving a coach-load of double glazing reps, an early morning trip to Birmingham, gallons of free wine and a motorway service station) which I may recount at a later date, I’ve developed the kind of sensible routine that I always scoffed at when given as earnest advice by my parents all those years ago.
In other words;
i) Make sure you have a decent meal inside you before the festivities commence.
ii) DO NOT mix fruit and grain. (advice as invaluable as Spengler’s warning not to “cross the streams” in Ghostbusters)
ii) Drink plenty of water when you get home.
All of which seemed like the embarrassing fussing of overly-protective and out of touch fuddy-duddies in the golden days of ago, but is now a sound preventative against ruining the start of an otherwise perfectly good year.

In more recent years we have sometimes gone out to a gig or a small house party (like proper grown-ups), but the days of seeing in the next solar rotation from a hard-fought-for, glass-strewn table in a bar full of screaming revelers, with ear-splitting Slade pumping out of the jukebox are probably behind us.

And you know what might be the saddest thing about all that?
The fact that, although I loved every messy, idiotic and noisy minute of it, I really don’t miss it at all.

So even if I wasn’t getting over a nasty bout of Man Flu, (which I of course graciously shared with Elaine, who is currently in bed with the apparently even nastier Woman Flu) I doubt I’d be doing anything other than sipping a few genteel ciders in front of the goggle box anyway.
Or blogging.

So whether you’re having a well-deserved quiet night in – while the next generation go out on the town to make their own memories – or you plan to really push the boat out and finish off 2013 in style, I wish each and every one of you a truly happy new year, one in which I’ll be more than happy to join you, if you’ll have me.


Here’s my annual report card. Thanks again to all the people who made the blog such fun to write in the last twelve months.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 15,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 6 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.


Posted by on December 31, 2013 in Blogging, Humour, Personal anecdote


Tags: , , , ,

15 responses to “The last word…

  1. Ron

    December 31, 2013 at 20:00

    Love that photo of you Dale!

    “The fact that, although I loved every messy, idiotic and noisy minute of it, I really don’t miss it at all.”

    Yes, that’s exactly how I feel about my partying days as well. I enjoyed every second, but I don’t miss it at all.

    Tonight, I’ll be sipping some wine, watching some movies, and just laying low. I have no intention of being out on the crazy streets of Philly tonight, because it’ll be INSANE.

    Wishing you and Elaine a Happy New Year!

    See ya in 2014!


    • dalecooper57

      December 31, 2013 at 21:43

      Thanks again Ron, I’ll see you in the blogosphere for more nonsense and ranting in the year to come.

  2. adsnads1976

    January 1, 2014 at 13:53

    A fabulous post – I really like the balance between nostalgia and ‘grown up’ wisdom. I’m looking forward to more excellent stuff in 2014.

    • dalecooper57

      January 1, 2014 at 15:32

      Cheers Adam.
      Had a quiet NYE, watched David Lynch’s extremely wonderful Wild at Heart again and another deeply nostalgic episode of the live action Max Headroom series on YouTube.
      Woke up with nothing worse than the tail-end of a cold, feeling virtuous as I read the Fb updates of various hungover friends who overdid it last night.
      Think I may have to write the alcohol-fuelled double glazing fiasco post now, it refuses to stop banging on my head wanting to be let out.
      One good post always leads to another…

  3. jerseylil

    January 2, 2014 at 07:10

    Happy New Year, Dale! Love the photo of you back in the day. Yes, that “sensible routine” age, we all get there, the age when we alarmingly discover that we’re listening to parents’ advice. I always eat before drinking or I get tipsy in a hurry LOL! It’s been years since my husband and I have gone out on New Year’s Eve. Much better now to stay home, drink champagne, eat popcorn, and watch the Ball drop at Times Square on TV (after which I stay up to watch a Twilight Zone marathon on TV every NYE here).

    The Annual Report you get from WordPress is pretty cool! (I’ll have to see if Blogspot offers that as well.) Great info with those statistics, even telling you how many from each country. Your numbers are impressive! I see I’m Number 2 on blog comments. 🙂

    • dalecooper57

      January 2, 2014 at 07:15

      Thanks Lil, yep you are in the roll of honour for being one of my most loyal supporters and I appreciate it. My favourite statistic was the fact that I’ve reached 95 countries. Amazing really.

  4. steph

    January 4, 2014 at 23:22

    Hangovers have plagued me my entire drinking career so Dean and I don’t go crazy on New Year’s Eve either. Hope you and Elaine are feeling a bit better! Happy New Year!

    • dalecooper57

      January 4, 2014 at 23:42

      Thanks Steph, actually felt worse for the last few days though. Came home from the first day back at work on Thursday after only three hours. Elaine and I have both had whatever it is quite badly. On this one occasion I would have preferred the hangover, at least that’s only one day.

      • steph

        January 5, 2014 at 16:34

        Sorry to hear that! Best wishes to you two for a speedy recovery from here on out with lots of comforting soups.

  5. Dianne Wilson

    January 5, 2014 at 13:08

    loved the photo you shared on Ron’s blog
    happy new year
    be careful out there 😉

    • dalecooper57

      January 5, 2014 at 15:03

      Thanks Dianne. Just checked out your Google+ page, there’s some great photographs there. If you want a more diverse selection of some of my photos, have a peek at my “Picture this…” category. Happy New Year to you too, hope that big U.S. storm we’ve seen on the news hasn’t hit you too badly.

  6. Secret Agent Woman

    January 5, 2014 at 17:11

    Here via Ron’s winter photos post.

    Yeah, there is something to be said for quieter celebrations. I still don’t get hangovers, but I also don’t drink nearly as much as I did when I was younger.

    • dalecooper57

      January 5, 2014 at 17:52

      I believe that’s known as “managed retreat”. ;~}

  7. Ian Cochrane

    January 5, 2014 at 18:56

    Congrat’s Dale. Well deserved!
    Hangovers? Alas I’ve had a few.

    All the best for 2014
    Cheers, ic


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Stories about Los Angeles and its people.




The online presence of dark fiction writer C.M. Saunders


"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect"

Little Fears

Flash fiction tales of humor, horror and whimsy


The random thoughts of a very troublesome haemorrhoid on travel, art, sport, bad dogs, good cats and other fake news...

The Lessons

that time forgot to teach


The Best of British Bullshit

Step-Parent's Sanctuary

The Stories Behind those (not so) Perfect Family Photos


words and scribble.


hedy bach photography mixed stories and music

Isabella Morgan

Opinions not otherwise specified

A Life in Transition

Poetry & Fiction

The Bee Writes...

.... don't expect anything...not even the unexpected...

Author Kyle Perkins

The latest and greatest of my documented daydreams

Luca Sartoni

Protector of Asynchronicity at Automattic

Pages That Rustle

The journey from words to stories.


For your mind only!

Waruni Anuruddhika

Film and photography

An Artist's Path

A space for creative seekers.


Learn WordPress & SEO from the beginning...

Tyler Charles Austen

Foul mouthed, Queer and Angry


The facepainting and balloon twisting lady

Jamaica Ponder

...only a little bit famous

Art by Rob Goldstein

There is no common truth

Kristin King Author

True Story...


To Share, To Connect, To Create, To Inspire.

unbolt me

the literary asylum


Music means something

Broken Castles

Shattered long ago...

Joshi Daniel Photography

Images of People Photoblog


Every day I'm jugglin'.

The Write Project

"The answer is to write." - Richard Rhodes

b e t u n a d a

I'm interested in THE GLUE BETWEEN THINGS. "Back on planet URTH" i search for and study desert wombats and inukThingies (they're like inukshuks) while rambling in the high desert of western Colorawdough.


enthusiast photography

Stop Yearning, Start Earning

%d bloggers like this: