Give it a name…

05 Jul

There was a kid at our school called Warren.
Guess what his nickname was.
Go on, guess.

Bunny you say? No, actually it was Yoda for some reason.

Ok, bad example. But for every exception there is a rule, and it’s a brave Wayne Kerr, Richard Head, or indeed, Colin Hunt who meets his new classmates for the first time.
Because as we all know, children are little bastards.

But surely the parents of these little darlings are there to set an example to their evil progeny, to guide them on the path to tolerance and understanding of their peers?

Well you would like to think so wouldn’t you?  But this morning a YouTube clip showed up on my Facebook Newsfeed that made my jaw drop in amazement, and not in a good way either.

The clip (from ITV’s This Morning TV show) features a “celebrity” guest called Katie Hopkins – apparently an escapee from Amstrad-gnome-in-chief, Sir Alan Sugar’s business themed reality show The Apprentice – airing her views on how children’s names reflect their background and behaviour. (Yes, you did read that right)

Watch the clip, then pick your jaw up, and we’ll continue.

Ok, how far did you get before you started swearing? I made it about a minute I think.

What sort of person says that?
I really hope she meets a whole lot of Tylers in the near future, don’t you?
And the clip is entitled “Holly Willoughby Loses Her Cool With Katie Hopkins…” whereas I think Holly kept her cool remarkably well under the circumstances.
I mean, she didn’t slap the snobby cow, she even refused to be goaded into taking the piss out of Hopkins’ own children’s names, Poppy, India, and Maximilian.
Speaking of which, she’d already consigned kids with “geographical” names like Brooklyn, Lourdes, India, and Paris to the social scrapheap……..whoa there, hang on, back up a bit there Katie…

India? Isn’t that your daughter’s name?
Ah, well, yes, but you see that’s a different thing altogether because she isn’t named after a specific location, so that’s allowed. Obviously.

Right, that’s ok then.

She also has it in for “footballers’ names” for some reason. Which lets out a few biblical favourites for a start: every David has to go (Mr Beckham losing out on two fronts with Brooklyn also on the shitlist), all Matthews (Le Tissier) would be blacklisted from dear Maximilian’s birthday soirées, and goodness knows what the rules say about those unfortunate enough to named after Manchester City winger Jesus Navas.

Oh, and by the way; Katie? What sort of name is that?
Which yardstick are we to measure your name by exactly? Katie Price? Katie Holmes? Katie Melua?

An opinionated airhead. And Katie Price.

Did other childrens’ parents not let them play with you, in case they developed ambitions to take up topless modeling, become  Scientologists, or took to warbling soulless, mediocre folk-pop music?

The woman actually says she would make sure that any girl called Chardonnay wouldn’t even make it to best friend status with her precious little India, so the harrowing concept of the wretched child actually coming to her house would never come up.

What do her children do, carry a list of proscribed names around with them all the time?
Do they have to say “I’m terribly sorry Fred/Stacey/Tyler/Kylie, I know we appear to be instant and obvious lifelong friends/lovers/soulmates, but the Rules say I’ve got to set the dogs on you”

Or maybe the upper echelons of society, unknown to us mere mortals, have access to some sort of Namecheck Hotline they can call in emergency social situations, to enable them to tell at the touch of a speed-dial button whether they can safely send their children on a playdate with a borderline Nigel, or a frankly suspicious Nadia.

I applaud Philip Schofield’s attempt to give her some more rope by asking if she applied the same rule to surnames. I was just waiting for her to hang herself by saying something along the lines of “Finkelstein? Are you mad?!” but apparently her bigotry only extends to those of us who had to rely on our parents’ foresight in not calling us North West, Apple, or Fifi-Trixibell, (although I can’t help thinking that any of Paula Yates’ daughters’ names would meet with approval from the Name Nazis) and not the poor souls who find themselves saddled for life with something so lowly as a “Smith” or a “Jones” through no fault of their own.

If a generation of kids like hers grow up judging people only by their names, before they’ve even had a chance to speak to them let alone get to know them, then it won’t be long before we have another sort of discussion on the breakfast show sofa altogether.

You can’t help but wonder what reaction we’d have got if Philip and Holly had thrown an “Ahmed” or a “Fatima” at Hopkins for snap judgement.
Now that would have been a show worth seeing.

As it is, Schofield’s double face-palm in the very final shot says it all.


Posted by on July 5, 2013 in Blogging, TV


Tags: , , , , , ,

22 responses to “Give it a name…

  1. Helena Fortissima

    July 5, 2013 at 18:28

    I’ve never heard of Katie Hopkins. It’s hard to believe anyone would take her seriously. I’m surprised she even made it onto this morning talk show; they must’ve been hurting for material.

  2. Shaun Histed-Todd

    July 5, 2013 at 19:35

    But she got what she wanted – everyone sharing – talking slating – reposting. She’s an attention seeker. Simple way to deal with her is to ignore her. Don’t feed the hand that bites 🙂

    • dalecooper57

      July 5, 2013 at 19:39

      It won’t help her cause much though will it? Not too many people will adopt her system. Let’s hope not anyway…

  3. adsnads1976

    July 5, 2013 at 22:43

    Good lord Katie Hopkins is just an unbearable cretin. My own take on her to follow soon, but good job at pointing the nob jockey stick in her direction

    • dalecooper57

      July 5, 2013 at 22:59

      Cheers, look forward to seeing it from your perspective.

  4. Ron

    July 6, 2013 at 04:53

    As Helena shared, I’ve never heard of Katie Hopkins!?!

    OMG…she’s a total NUT CASE!

    I love the reaction from the women sitting on her left. She really nailed her!

    And I love your remark, Dale….

    “Oh, and by the way; Katie? What sort of name is that?

    Which yardstick are we to measure your name by exactly? Katie Price? Katie Holmes? Katie Melua?”


    • dalecooper57

      July 6, 2013 at 05:41

      Yeah, loved her comment about “She’d probably eat her peas off her fork, so she wouldn’t do anyway.”

  5. Shaun Histed-Todd

    July 6, 2013 at 14:27

    there are always nob heads out there that will agree with her, I’ve already seen comments on the video of people defending her position.

  6. Shaun Histed-Todd

    July 6, 2013 at 14:29

    give her some rosary beads and she will pull them out of her arse if she believed it would cause controversy and get her on TV or the papers. Bad publicity is good publicity.

    • dalecooper57

      July 6, 2013 at 14:59

      Although to be fair, you’re the only person who’s bothered to comment three times, making you her biggest publicist on this post.
      You secretly like her really don’t you?

  7. Shaun Histed-Todd

    July 6, 2013 at 22:50

    Bugger you ousted me ! and in public as well – how dare thee

  8. PBScott

    July 7, 2013 at 06:35

    Since she doesn’t have intelligence or looks to give her power, I guess she needs to cling to her “class”? Kind of medieval of her.

    There is some truth to the names that get chosen by certain people and how it reflects the parents personality, and the way they might be raised, but it should be up to the child to choose their friends, since the children will have likely have spent many hours with them already in social situations, and know the good form the bad.

    • dalecooper57

      July 7, 2013 at 11:44

      However, there is NO indication that children will conform to a “badly behaved” name just because their parents have a weaknesses for the striker in their local football team, or happen to like the music of Mz Minogue.

  9. iancochrane

    July 7, 2013 at 18:33

    Mmm. I didn’t know that woman in the clip either. Yes, quite astonishing to be sure: no, it really is such appalling totally unfounded bigotry.
    Cheers, ic

    • dalecooper57

      July 7, 2013 at 18:35

      Just found out she comes from Barnstaple! I’d like to publicly point out she is the exception to people here.

  10. Big D

    July 9, 2013 at 18:37

    You have to wonder at some people. Do they not think “Hmm. This is making me look a bit of a bitch”
    And I wouldn’t want to be her kids in the playground next morning.

    • dalecooper57

      July 9, 2013 at 19:07

      No, wouldn’t you love to be Tyler though…

  11. Darmon

    November 18, 2013 at 16:23

    Incredible…I simply cannot fathom the workings of her brain. Thanks, Dale – you’ve gone and put me in a bad mood for the day now.

    • dalecooper57

      November 18, 2013 at 19:52

      My apologies, I hope your monitor survived the impact of whatever you inevitably threw at it.

  12. Moyra Keatings

    February 20, 2014 at 11:03

    I just saw Katie Hopkins on an immigration “debate” this week – as one tweeter said what’s the point of a debate if everyone’s already made their minds up, but that’s another kettle of piranas – I thought a decent education would teach you SOME modicum of manners and letting other people talk. Surely even if you disagree totally with them you listen to what they have to say so that you can argue your own case once they’ve established theirs!

    • dalecooper57

      February 20, 2014 at 11:10

      Sadly that doesn’t apply to bigoted airheads.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




The online presence of dark fiction writer C.M. Saunders


"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect"

Little Fears

Flash fiction tales of humor, horror and whimsy


The random thoughts of a very troublesome haemorrhoid on travel, art, sport, bad dogs, good cats and other fake news...

The Lessons

that time forgot to teach


The Best of British Bullshit

Step-Parent's Sanctuary

The Stories Behind those (not so) Perfect Family Photos


words and scribble.


hedy bach photography mixed stories and music

Isabella Morgan

Opinions not otherwise specified

A Life in Transition

Poetry & Fiction

The Bee Writes...

.... don't expect anything...not even the unexpected...

Author Kyle Perkins

The latest and greatest of my documented daydreams

Luca Sartoni

Protector of Asynchronicity at Automattic

Pages That Rustle

The journey from words to stories.


For your mind only!

Waruni Anuruddhika

Film and photography

An Artist's Path

A space for creative seekers.


Learn WordPress & SEO from the beginning...

Tyler Charles Austen

Foul mouthed, Queer and Angry


The facepainting and balloon twisting lady

Jamaica Ponder

...only a little bit famous

Art by Rob Goldstein

There is no common truth

Kristin King Author

True Story...


I have no idea what I'm doing


To Share, To Connect, To Create, To Inspire.

unbolt me

the literary asylum


Music means something

Broken Castles

Shattered long ago...

Joshi Daniel Photography

Images of People Photoblog


Every day I'm jugglin'.

The Write Project

"The answer is to write." - Richard Rhodes

b e t u n a d a

I'm interested in THE GLUE BETWEEN THINGS. "Back on planet URTH" i search for and study desert wombats and inukThingies (they're like inukshuks) while rambling in the high desert of western Colorawdough.


enthusiast photography

Stop Yearning, Start Earning

%d bloggers like this: